Tag Archives: recipes

chipotle marinade!!!!

6 Aug

chipotle baked thighs/drums from an earlier cooking night….

Why the exclamation points? BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS STUFF. Since discovering it, this is something I will never, ever NOT have in my freezer, stored in individual little baggies for multiple meals.

I dunno where this recipe originated, and I’m sure it’s nothing that special or too different from other chipotle marinades out there. The real amazingness about it is it’s simplicity and versatility AND OVERALL DELICIOUSNESS!

I contributed the recipe as a post to a verrrrry yummy website called Young, Married and Chic. You can find the recipe here and some photos from my first night making it. Oh heaven.


I pretty much ummmm….quadruple the recipe and even throw in what is pretty much 6 or 7 times the amount of garlic for an already quadrupled recipe. The key to this marinade is just tasting. It will be SPICY….if you don’t like spicy, more brown sugar! Still too hot? More garlic and ketchup! Too sweet now? More vodka! Love cilantro? Put some cilantro in that bitch! Aaah endless possibilities. I’m not sure where this recipe originally comes from, but my trainer gave it to me and I am forever grateful.

To make enough to save, I pour 4 cans which is usually around 12 peppers or so. From that, I pour in enough vodka to make it perfectly mushy even when frozen. Easy to scoop into a pot from the freezer bags, and mmmm flavor country. After making it so many times now, I’ve realized that measuring is overrated when it comes to this. As long as you use all the ingredients, you have a gold mine!

Look at this ridiculous elephant garlic banananess! The best use for this giant garlic is roasting it…it turns into a yummy paste for spreading on whatever you want (your body), but it is also great for the marinade. Peel 10 little cloves or a couple of these monsters! The flavor isn’t quite as strong, but it does jusssst fine. God I love garlic.

Bag into little baggies! I love sautéing shrimp with a few scoops of frozen marinade for lunch with a light salad to cool off that tongue. But you MUST bake chicken legs and bone-in thighs with this.

I gotta stop. I’m starving. And I know I have a ton of this in my freezer right now so I’ll be making home cured bacon and munching on chipotle shrimp as soooooon as I get home on monday….

Enjoy! xx

Mango and cayenne pepper

24 Jul

My new favorite street snack. Make your own by….CUTTING A FUCKING MANGO AND PUTTING CAYENNE PEPPER ON IT. Jesus do I have to tell you guys everything??



twix bar FAIL

9 Jul

What fun would this thing be if I only posted flawless, delicious recipes? Because for every 10 of those, there is 1 twix-bar monstrosity.

Remember how under “sausage links”, I posted the links to two different homemade twix bar recipes, one more difficult than the other? Well my dumb ass tried to be fancy and make the hard one. I won’t bore you with the details, but basically I undercooked the caramel, the most crucial part of the recipe.

This comes from a traumatizing experience, years ago, when I was making peanut brittle that I hoped would rival the peanut brittle of See’s candies (have you had it?? it’s fucking awesome). Anyhoo, the caramel/toffee started to brown very, very quickly and I got frazzled and lifted the pot over to the pan and attempted to quickly spoon it out….

The thick toffee made a lonnnnng string from pot to pan and, in my haste to just stop it from cooking, I grabbed the toffee string. It quickly swirled and IMMEDIATELY hardened onto my hand.

I picked it off (it hurt like hell) and underneath the little swirly pattern was dark, almost black, skin….IN A SWIRL PATTERN. It was brutally painful and literally scarred me.

Back to the recipe though….

So yeah. I undercooked the caramel this time around….maybe subconsciously, I don’t know. All I know is that it never even ended up caramelizing and yet I was somehow okay with this. I also seemed to be okay with the fact I could mentally gauge the temperature of the caramel, rather than use a candy thermometer. I poured it over the shortbread where it was supposed to harden after a couple hours….

….looks good enough, right? WRONG. It never hardened. Ever. I never got to bring it to the 4th of July BBQ. You know, the one where I of course told absolutely everyone going that I was bringing a delicious treat to.

We returned home that night and I immediately ran over to see if maybe after…8 HOURS….it had hardened up a bit. No.

So I popped that shit into the freezer and took a shower (it is 1am-ish, by now)….and came out and tried my hardest to make something of this crap.

Next step? Cover the crap in chocolate and refreeze….

…looks like chocolate covered twinkles, which would have been a much better idea.

Mmmmm yay! Shit logs!

Ok clearly I had given up on this one. Didn’t even bother to take more photos. I refroze the little bastards and the caramel was stilllll wet and oozing out of the chocolate. Boyfriend says it was still delicious (how can caramel and chocolate and shortbread not be, I guess) but it was still a very poorly done recipe on my part and not one I would take anywhere. It’s still in the freezer. I refuse to try it.

Moral of the story: Cook your caramel. Cook. Your caramel.


Meeeow. Baked cajun catfish.

8 Jul

Yes…still on this stupid diet which actually isn’t so stupid anymore since it’s actually working. I suppose it’s just stupid because I hate being the kind of person who has to say things like “instead of the potatoes, do you think you could bring me steamed veggies?” …GOD I HATE BEING LIKE THIS. I really do. Please believe me or I will strangle you. Even though I would probably strangle you either way since my body is lacking carbs which makes me terribly irritable.

I’ve found myself at home more, since I don’t go out for elaborate meals with friends and drink margaritas that cause me to have “second dinner” at 1am at some fluorescently-lit corner pizza joint. So when I find a recipe like this, that makes me forget those nights existed, I share : )

Found it from googling “baked catfish”. I’m a genius like that.

Here are my photos, then the recipe is below. REALLY ridiculously simple and completely satisfying.


ten minutes later…

..served with sesame-oil veggies and those chipotle shrimps I’m obsessed with…

Baked Cajun Catfish, recipe from allrecipes.com:


  • 2 tablespoons canola oil
  • 2 teaspoons garlic salt
  • 2 teaspoons dried thyme
  • 2 teaspoons paprika
  • 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1/2 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
  • 1/4 teaspoon pepper
  • 4 (8 ounce) fillets catfish
  1. In a small bowl, combine the first seven ingredients; brush over both sides of fish.
  2. Place fish in a 13-in. x 9-in. x 2-in. baking dish coated with nonstick cooking spray. Bake at 450 degrees F for 10-13 minutes or until fish flakes easily with a fork.

Lemon Ice Cream Sandwiches with Blueberry Swirl

8 Jul

Does that title freaking KILL YOU or what??? Holy crap. I want to make these asap so I can eat a ton and have an intense, overwhelming feeling of regret causing me to cry into my hands for the remainder of the night and look to the bottle as my only form of comforting insecurities that can only arise from choosing a profession based solely on one’s looks. I meannnnn I uhhhhh…forget it…just make them….here!


Beef Curtains

28 Jun

…One time, long, long ago, a male friend of mine referred to a date’s…er…hoo-ha….as “beef curtains”. This has forever been engraved into my mind, and I STILL cannot write or say the word “beef” without thinking of it. And seriously, I haven’t seen many girl’s hoo-ha’s, but I’m pretty sure it shouldn’t look like BEEFY CURTAINS.

Which is my disgusting segue into talking about one of my favorite meals I have ever cooked, last night’s korean beef Kalbi with stir-fried wok veggies and scallops:

Ok so I’m not the prettiest plater….I actually am on an extensive wait-list for a “basic knife skills” and “meal presentation” class here in nyc, but trust me when I say I have never really made anything as tasty and simple as this sweet and garlicy beef.

Beef Kalbi:


  • 5 pounds Korean style beef short ribs
  • 1 cup brown sugar, packed
  • 1 cup soy sauce
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1/4 cup mirin (asian markets all have this, sometimes even “ethnic” grocery store aisles, google for photo of bottle)
  • 1 small onion, peeled and finely grated
  • 1 small asian pear, peeled and finely grated (**I didn’t have a pear but oh well)
  • 4 tablespoons minced garlic (I used 8 or 9 garlic cloves in mine because I’m a garlic freak)
  • 2 tablespoons dark sesame oil
  • 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
  • 2 green onions, thinly sliced (optional)

I had 8 thin slices of flanken (this slice of beef is usually called this in asian markets and grocery stores), which is certainly not 5 pounds of beef. I had way too much marinade but trust me, make it all…it’s just more juice for the beef to absorb, thus making it mind-blowingly tasty.

You probably won’t need the entire cup, but use the brown sugar to evenly coat the flanken. Seriously. Rub the brown sugar all over it like you are feeling up some hot body. Get in there:

Let this sit for 10 or 15 minutes while you make the marinade, which is literally just mixing all the remaining ingredients together. You can put the green onion in the marinade if you wish, but it’s prettier to garnish with it…although I forgot to in the end.

After 15 minutes, your beef should be a nice, deep red from absorbing the brown sugar (that’s what she said). By the way, I used regular golden brown sugar for this but let me know if you use dark…wondering if that’s delicious as well. Anyhoo, moving on…

I recommend you now put the beef into a big ziplock freezer bag and poor the marinade in. I didn’t do it because I wanted to take pretty photos and ziplocks create a disgusting, sticky mess. At least when I use em. I poured it over, covered it, and let it sit in the fridge for an almost 2 hours…

If you don’t have that kind of time, really, 1.5 hours or so is pretty amazing. I’m sure overnight would just be skeet-worthy.

Do do do, la la laaaaa, a few hours pass, take it out and GRILL THAT SHIT! I was too lazy to go down and use the bbq, so I used a pancake griddle. Don’t judge me!

Ugh. Posting this makes me sad I didn’t really buy 5 pounds of beef to munch on throughout my day. This was that good. Put a tablespoon or so of olive oil on the pan to evenly coat, then let it get nice and hot on medium high heat….closer to high.

Toss the strips on (careful of your fingers in the oil! it should crackle) and watch closely. It should only take 2 minutes each side, and it’s much better to take it off too early than it is to leave it on too long. Make sure it’s hot enough to get it nice and dark brown (i like almost a black, crusty deliciousness of brownsugaryness) and take it off when it’s to your liking. I know I say that a lot, but I love recipes where it really only relies on how you want it to taste, recipes where you really can’t fail.

You know what? Screw the scallops. They were ok but the kalbi is the real star here. If you must, do as I did and stir-fry some broccoli, sliced shiitake mushrooms and onion by pouring a few tablespoons of olive-oil into a wok (my fav) or sauté pan. Toss some minced garlic in (a few cloves) and let it crackle. Toss the veggies in, squirt some soy sauce in to taste and just keep stirring and tossing until it’s to your liking. Super easy.

Now hurry along, everyone. Start marinating this thing! You can have a delicious dinner by 8pm tonight : )


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