So I made eggs this morning. But the whole thing was so easy that I’m even hesitant to post details on it. I feel like it would come off as me trying to give you this great new thing and you guys are gonna be like “um that’s stupid easy and not even exciting who does this bitch think she is?”.

Anyone who knows me knows that I enjoy creating negative scenarios in my head for seemingly positive situations.

Anyhoo, I am really big on making sure that people know they can cook. I cringe when I hear someone say “I can’t cook”. Why can’t you? You seriously cannot buy a pre-seasoned filet of catfish at whole foods for 4 dollars and throw it on some foil and bake it and cut some lettuce for a salad? Or you can’t measure ingredients and pour vinegars and sugars into a bowl, throw some meat in and pop it in the fridge where it sits for hours? Yes you can dammit!

I find…I dunno…great respect with people who cook even just a few meals a week. The simplest of meals. I love it when people share photos with me on twitter and I get to see that people are still home in this crazy world and enjoy something so simple. I dunno what it is. I just love it. I guess I have kind of a weird life and it provides comfort and makes me feel normal and stable.

I love the difference in photos between men and women who send me pictures of their creations. Men usually have an enormous slab of meat, on a paper plate, usually, and a hastily chopped potato. Women have plates with more greens than anything, and they’ve gone through the trouble to wipe down any random spots of sauce that doesn’t belong. The differences are cute, and I love it. It’s sexy when a man can cook, for sure. But I really do love the fact that I can cook for my man. It makes me feel good that I can do something for him when he does so much for me, things I could never reciprocate financially. I’m not trying to be all, “get in the kitchen, bitches!”, but I do love some good ol old-fashionedness when it comes to cooking — especially when cooking makes you happy too.

I have no way to transition this to my egg recipe but here!

And oh, on twitter , I did list this as “eggs over easy” but when life gives you broken yolks, make a scramble.

Egg Scramble with Arugula Pesto, Lemon Avocado and Maple Smoked Bacon


Mezzini Arugula Pesto…the key ingredient. I can really see myself using the crap out of this in life. SO much favor. A scoop over some hot, buttery, lemon spaghetti…on a piece of toasted french bread…mmmm….from whole foods. 5 bucks.

First you need that bacon grease. How else would you cook your eggs, silly? Normal oil? NOT WHEN THERE IS SUCH THING AS BACON GREASE!


Nothing in life excites me quite like using a new non-stick pan. Sorry, John.

Drain the bacon, leave a bitttt of bacon grease in the pan…


Scoop in a hearty spoonful of pesto…


On medium/low heat it will bubble and brown quickly so GET THE EGG IN THERE but don’t break it unless you want to be a failure and end up making a scramble like…


….this! just tossed 2 eggs into the pan and scrambled them with the bacon grease and pesto. Only takes a minute! I prefer closer to wet than dry. That’s what she said. Squirt some lemon on a halved avocado with salt and pepper and you have a very fulfilling and flavorful, quick breakfast.

Yes there is only one piece of bacon on my plate at the end. I am a firm believer in making extra bacon to eat while cooking. I can’t just have it staring at me while I’m trying to cook. Get in my mouth!!

And if you are wondering why I use avocado so much, it pretty much only has to do with the fact I cut carbs and, in breakfast, avocado replaces potatoes, hashbrowns, homefries, whatever for me. Something I miss every day. But it really is working, and I’ve grown to love love love avocado. Especially when you (correctly) make eggs over easy and rub the avocado all over the runny yolk oh baby.

Hope you try it! Please cook. It makes me happy when you cook.