I was about to post one simple little recipe for sea salt chocolate chip cookies, but like that evil mary jane, sea salt chocolate chip cookies only seem to be a gateway drug, as I have found myself finding more and more delicious baked goods being waved around in my face when I hope from site to site, drooling.
I need help man. And I don’t even LOVVVVVE sweets (I’m a salt person myself).
I need an intervention. At the end you can ask me if I will accept your pleas for help and head to buttfuck egypt florida to attend baked goods rehab. I will hesitantly agree then the screen will fade to black and the words “Chrissy left Harmony Baked Goods Rehabilitation after 17 minutes.” and you will sigh because listen, you kind of got attached to me in that one hour, right? I seemed like a good enough person who just fell into a rough crowd. Then something traumatizing happened to me. Something that most people could get over easily but…for whatever reason…I turned to baked goods. “She used to be so active and fun”, you’d say, fighting back tears. I had wonderful relationships with anyone I encountered and now…now I’m just dark behind the eyes. It’s like I have been inhabited by a baked goods demon. I have started going through your drawers looking for cash. Pawning your things to support my habit. And you just. can’t. take it anymore.
Here. Take these recipes away from me, for my own good:
**A few things: First of all, “chocolate chip cream scones with maple coffee glaze” has SO MANY FREAKING AMAZING WORDS IN IT. As does “cinnamon roll pie”. And “sea salt chocolate chip cookies”. Fuck it no more talking chrissy want cookies omnomnomnomnomnomnomnlkjfgksjgslkgjslkgjslhkjfhlksjhlskhjdkjhldjfhdf
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