FINE, HERE.

Ok remember how I was gonna do a review on chicago deep dish pizza? I ordered 1 pizza from the top 3 places recommended to me on twitter and had a mini pizza party.

I certainly remember. BECAUSE EVERYONE KEEPS REMINDING ME TO WRITE ABOUT IT.

Well. Here is it. I’ll tell it to you straight because we are best friends.

It was a tie.

THEY ALL LOSE.

Okay so fine. I know that if you live in Chicago, or are from Chicago, or have been there once, you freaking love this stuff. I know it. I know it because you verbally mutilated me on twitter for saying it wasn’t my cup of tea, because I don’t like huge pieces of shit in my tea (aziz ansari). But this is MY BLOG and I. Don’t. Like. Deep Dish.

Which is why I will just post some pictures from the day. And you can see at the end which pizza became the lesser of 3 evils. Deal? Deal.

First? Gino’s East.

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Ok, Gino. We need to talk. Firstly, what is up with your crust? If ANYONE wanted whack pieces of thick, flavorless bread that I’d rather discard than consume, why would you put SO much of it around a pizza? I feel like this issue could all be solved with a little garlic powder and…I dunno…A LITTLE THOUGHT AND CARE INTO THE RECIPE? I guess that’s just me. Secondly, what is up with your crust? Thirdly, what the fuck is up with your crust?

Next, Pizano’s.

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Well mister Pizano. I’ve always wondered if it was humanly possible to have too much cheese on something. Since birth, my mind has been consumed with this single, pestering question. You sir. You made me realize that it IS possible. Anything is possible. And for that, I thank you. But I think it’s really cool that with what you lacked in overall flavor, you made up for in cheese. Way to balance.

And lastly, thank god, Giordano’s.

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Alright, Giordano’s. I’ll admit it. You are physically pretty. But on the inside, you seem to be a little bit….meh. Like Megan Fox, or something. You are the Megan Fox of pizza.

Ok see why I put this off for so long? Because by the end, I cared SO little. It’s not my style. I didn’t grow up on cheese casserole with tomato topping. I just didn’t. So blame it on my upbringing.

For the record, Gino’s East won. It was like picking the best actor between Nic Cage, Keanu Reeves, and Nic Cage.

Congrats to all who participated.

x

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