Alright. So I never do this. I mean, I exaggerate points to no end via twitter, enough to the point of annoyance, but I feel like this has me frustrated enough to warrant an actual post. If I tweeted it, I would get hundreds of people asking me why I keep dragging it on. If I don’t address it, then I don’t care enough. I care.
Someone just asked me why I think
shaming is okay and why I think it is beneficial. I don’t particularly think it is okay to make anyone feel badly about themselves. I don’t think it’s my job or anybody’s job to go around shaming people.
I do think that, somewhere along the line, we lost our feelings of being ashamed for our actions. We have a society now where we too often reward poor behavior. I don’t like that society seems to reward a girl who stages a so called sex tape and tries to get pregnant so that she can further her career as a reality star. She lied to Deen about being on the pill and was actively trying to trap him into fatherhood to make her story more juicy. Or she was at least insinuating that she might be pregnant (via full glam in a drugstore with tmz present) to juice up the story.
If society can’t frown on this sort of thirst for cheap fame, what can we frown on? I’m not suggesting she gets locked up. I’m just saying society can say “hmm, that’s not cool”. If you don’t agree that it’s not cool, then feel free to disagree, but it’s not sexist for me to suggest that there’s certain shit people shouldn’t do.
I understand the anger with the double-standard we women face. The term “man whore” is thrown around with a more of a wink and a comical tone while “slut” is certainly something meant to be more malicious when it’s applied to women. Men are celebrated for their sexual conquests. Women are made to feel like outcasts. I agree that this isn’t right.
This has nothing to do with this woman/girl having sex. Or doing porn, for that matter. The string of situations that have amassed into this “story” are what have me frustrated. This chick can have all the sex she wants. Do all the porn she wants. I don’t care. For me, it’s the simple fact that some behavior shouldn’t be rewarded, it should be discouraged. If we don’t frown upon it, it makes it seem okay for anyone else to seek fame this way because hey, no one really cares, right?
Why don’t I “shame’ Deen? Because he is a porn star that knows he’s a porn star and I see no shame in that.
Some people are gonna say “well you get naked for money too!” Well if you don’t understand the difference between what I do and what this girl is doing then you have bigger problems with comprehension that you need to deal with.
Not to say that I am exactly helping in any way. In this seemingly endless sea of lack-of-morality, I just try to be some sort of counter force and sometimes I get a little too passionate, too angry, too disappointed and forget that the words I choose are important and will be scrutinized. But understand that my words come from an honest place. Sometimes I just don’t like what we are now okay with and where we are headed as a culture.
And the fucked up part is the fact that we’re even talking about her right now plays right into her plans. So god fuckin dammit.
I didn’t mean to offend you. But I stand by everything I said.