low and slow scrambled eggs

16 Oct

I wanted to call these “low and slow cheesy cheeseless eggs” but that sounded like one of those stupid options in a vegan shack and I think we all know by now that I don’t fux with vegans.

These are morning HEAVEN.

You ever hear about that “engagement chicken” recipe? You know, that silly chicken that you make and supposedly your man loves it so much you get engaged within months? First of all, barf at the idea of that. Second of all, MEN BEWARE! WOMEN MAKING CHICKEN FROM A MAGAZINE WANT A RING DO NOT LIKE THE CHICKEN I REPEAT DO NOT ENJOY THE CHICKEN UNLESS YOU REALLY LOVE HER. Anyhow these…these are my man pleasing’ sex eggs.

My instructor, Su, made these for me before school one day. It was fascinating to me for many reasons: THEY WERE UNBELIEVABLY DELICIOUS in a world where wonderfully  brilliant dishes are served all around the world, every day. How could something as simple as SCRAMBLED EGGS be so….creamy, flavorful, savory, cheeeeeesy. They actually tasted like they had love inside of them. And they did — 6 – 8 eggs can take around 20 minutes of constannnnnt babying.

As Su stirrrrred and scraped, stirrrrrred and scraped, with the pace of a hungover Chrissy, I felt ashamed of how I normally cooked eggs. My scrambled eggs take mayyyyyybe 90 seconds. That’s not love! At that point you might as well microwave that shit and drown it in ketchup.

Done well, these will taste like…like cheese. I couldn’t think about anything else aside from “how do these not have cheese in them??”.

No recipe here. Just tips. The keys: Super low heat. Constant attention. A spatula. Non stick pan. Lots of butter. Generous splash of heavy cream and plenty of salt and pepper in the scrambled egg mixture.

The pictures make me hungry :( But sigh. You deserve it…

This is for 2. We really love eggs. And what! 8 eggs calls for more heavy cream okkkkaaaaaaaaay?

Season your eggs heavily with salt and pepper. Whisk.

Season your home cured bacon. Oh what? You store bought your bacon? Ha that’s soooo cute. Just kidding. I’m a bitch.

Toss enough butter in your pan to make Paula Deen smile.

One of my new favorite kitchen tools: a heat-proof silicon spatula. Fits perrrrrfectly for these eggs, neatly and gently scrapes — that’s not the right word — grazes, the sides of your pan. Never stop doing this kind motion: allllll around the pan circular scrape, followed by a push push push of the eggs from the outside toward the center. Repeat it all til done! Everything keeps moving.

Not quite.

Getting somewhere

There we go. Now truthfully, I would have taken it off the heat a minute or 2 before this. (by the way feel free to take the pan off the heat if you see any egg cooking too quickly) But since I know John prefers his scrambled eggs on the dryer side and only his omelets on the wet side, I found a nice happy medium. I didn’t wanna shock him into my creamy gooey eggs. I’ll get him next time…

Can’t forget my one true love

A close second

Man, this was harder to post than the fish. CURSE YOU, DIET!

Enjoy!

xx

68 Responses to “low and slow scrambled eggs”

  1. Heather October 16, 2012 at 7:58 pm #

    My grandfather always cooked scrambled eggs like this, I could never match the taste because I, like you, took a total of 1 minute to cook mine. I’ll have to try it this way now…btw is the cast iron pan essential?

  2. Liz freidburg October 16, 2012 at 8:00 pm #

    Yes! I’ve been waiting for you to post this recipe. Thank you thank you! What cooking school did you go to?

    • Jennifer October 16, 2012 at 8:11 pm #

      yes good question…I’d love to hear about all the essentials you ran out & bought after cooking school like that spatula & whatever else we shouldn’t live with out

      i bought some silpat & am ready to make my holiday cookies on it!

  3. Cherelle October 16, 2012 at 8:09 pm #

    I am looking forward to making these one morning this week! But i am BEYOND TERRIFIED of the home cured bacon, I dont think I’m there yet. Maybe one day though…

  4. Akeshia T. October 16, 2012 at 8:13 pm #

    I have all-out whiny bitch fits about how I can do really complex dishes at home completely wine-WASTED with EASE any day of the week, but could never scramble fucking eggs… Will attempt this Saturday morning for sure! Thx!!!

    P.S. Baked eggs in ham cups has changed my life, as well as several family members and friends lives! It is a staple for Bloody Mary Brunch Sundays at my momma’s! THANKS FOR THAT, FOR REAL!!!

  5. Carole Miguel October 16, 2012 at 8:17 pm #

    I freakin’ love this blog. Thanks, Chrissy, for the great cooking tips and making me laugh

  6. alylala October 16, 2012 at 8:24 pm #

    I do believe it’s breakfast time where I am – good idea!

  7. Shelly October 16, 2012 at 8:25 pm #

    Your method is very similar to the Gordon Ramsay “perfect scrambled eggs” video that I found that made my life 100% more awesome. The only difference is that he takes his on and off the heat as he scrambles. I’d link the video but that would just be unfair to you right now! Anyway, just wanted to say that I love your blog!!

    • SLS October 18, 2012 at 11:13 am #

      I think I saw the same GR video but I don’t recall him using a non-stick pan as Chrissy suggests. Gordon used a small saucepan and he scrambled the eggs in the pan, not before. The taller sides of the pan allowed for a more aggressive stir-scrape that produced fluffier eggs. And I think he opted for creme fraiche at the end, just before serving (the coolness keeps the eggs for overcooking), rather than heavy cream beforehand. Most important points are the same: low temp, constant movement.

      • Danielle_cooks January 8, 2014 at 12:17 am #

        Chrissy wins this one. She did it traditional French style. GR is English and we all they’re known for their food /:

  8. Christina October 16, 2012 at 8:48 pm #

    Thank you for posting this! I am going to attempt it tomorrow night.. for dinner. No heavy cream in the house otherwise I’d already be making it!

  9. leighesposito October 16, 2012 at 10:05 pm #

    Stop torturing yourself! ;)

  10. catvoncat October 16, 2012 at 11:32 pm #

    I am totally making these this weekend. I freaking love me some scrambled eggs. God bless you, Chrissy.

  11. Sarah N (@sar_night) October 16, 2012 at 11:48 pm #

    I about cried laughing reading this post because of your engagement chicken comment. My signature seduction dish was baked mac and cheese and boy did it work like a charm! And then, magically, I married a man who didn’t like mac and cheese. Fail. But he married me anyway, and he’s a fan of eggs, so maybe this will be a good substitute for special mornings. Thanks for the recipe! I’m loving your blog!

  12. bunnymysweet October 17, 2012 at 12:08 am #

    What is this magic you speak of!?! I will definitely be doing this!
    (\ /)
    ( . .)
    c(”)(”)
    http://www.bunnymysweet.com/

  13. Carla October 17, 2012 at 7:09 am #

    I did Engagement Chili for sure! The way to anyone’s heart (man or Woman) is def the stomach!

  14. kalliope84 October 17, 2012 at 10:07 am #

    Those look amazing and I’ll have to try out that method. My mom went to the Cordon Bleu in San Francisco when I was growing up and I am still learning technique from her!

  15. Kristina October 17, 2012 at 10:34 am #

    I for real hate scrambled eggs because the consistency is what I imagine brains is like (how is that grammatically anything right there) – I actually don’t love eggs at all other than in stuff like cake and bread or whatever, but this is intruiging. Although I’d cook the bacon first and then throw the eggs in to scramble in the leftover bacon grease because hey. Go all in or go home and by home I guess I mean fat.

  16. Charo October 17, 2012 at 11:39 am #

    Thanks for posting this. Reminds me of how my mother cooked eggs. My usual routine tends to be like Sweet Brown (ain’t nobody got time for that!) think I might treat my husband to some real cooking this weekend thanks again!

  17. thedancingrunner October 17, 2012 at 12:05 pm #

    Drool…and where do I find the recipe for engagement chicken…I need to feed my boyfriend that meal… ;-)

  18. nerdyconnie (@NerdyConnie) October 17, 2012 at 12:37 pm #

    thanks for the egg tip chrissy!

  19. duckdown October 17, 2012 at 1:47 pm #

    Ramsay says the biggest mistake you can make is seasoning the eggs before they are cooked because they break the eggs down and make them watery.. I tend to agree after experimenting. Try not salting your eggs until they’re cooked.

  20. Jordan October 17, 2012 at 4:44 pm #

    Chrissy- You had me at man pleasing sex eggs.. Is it possible to add pinterest functionality to your blog?

  21. Donna D. October 18, 2012 at 12:19 am #

    Looks yummy, try with a bit light cream cheese. Trust me, it tastes delicious!

  22. GiGi Eats Celebrities October 18, 2012 at 2:30 pm #

    I just had me some eggies with tuna belly… MMMMM I could go back for seconds, and thirds, and fourths! LOL!

  23. nanakoe11 October 18, 2012 at 6:35 pm #

    I’m so glad you are writing again. I mean, I guess you have been. But I hadn’t checked your blog since you were gone for a while since Sept. 19th. Anyway these eggs look HEAVENLY, and I will definitely be making them. Also just wanted to say that I recently went to NYC and remembered you always raving about Momofuku and so I said “CHRISSY TEIGEN LOVES MOMOFUKU, IT HAS GOT TO BE GOOD!” and dragged my boyfriend to the ssam bar and milk bar. Both amazingly delicious. Thank you for being an awesome food critic and a beautiful, sarcastic, funny woman. I love reading your blog. <3

  24. Hayley October 19, 2012 at 9:31 am #

    I will definitely be attempting this over the weekend! They look delicious!

  25. Emily C. October 19, 2012 at 12:49 pm #

    An FYI that I made that chicken once and the man did indeed propose. I’m scared to ever make it again. Seriously!

  26. Aparna Mukherjee October 19, 2012 at 12:59 pm #

    Now I’m craving both these eggs and that chicken (because I appreciate fantastic poultry versus marriage seeking…though I did fall slightly in love with a man once for making me French toast soldiers)! h/t @ecava

  27. Linda October 19, 2012 at 6:18 pm #

    Story time.

    So when I woke up this morning I decided to make myself some coffee and read your blog. The second I finished reading this I immediately went to the kitchen and started making this recipe. Everything was going fine until it was almost time to put it on a plate. I thought, “eggs, heavy cream, s&p…thats it!?!?” I couldn’t help myself. So I added cheese and cayenne…then ate it with ketchup. Did I also mention I cooked it in bacon grease instead of butter?

    Old habits die hard.

  28. Connor October 20, 2012 at 7:29 am #

    Can you make something giada? Just thow lemons in a bowl with marscapone cheese and bam

  29. Julie Anna October 20, 2012 at 12:03 pm #

    Just made these for brunch! I loved the creaminess, but Husband was not a huge fan. Pretty sure he likes his teeth to bounce off his eggs.

  30. Tatiana October 21, 2012 at 12:27 pm #

    OMG! I made these yesterday morning and today and I’ll probably make them again and again and again. I topped mine with snipped chives and curry sauce because in my book everything tastes even better with a bit of spice. Thanks for posting this!

    • windwein October 21, 2012 at 1:02 pm #

      Oooooohhhh, made these for brunch this morning and they are so rich and creamy. The low and slow is perfect because I can put my five-year-old in charge of the stirring while I get everything else ready. (Like microwaving the store-bought bacon. Yes, I’m a heathen.)

  31. San Diego Jenn October 22, 2012 at 5:06 pm #

    Chrissy, I like to whip my eggs w/ a stick blender to get them a little frothy for scrambles and omelets. Is this wrong? Should I be using a whisk?

    Thanks for all the recipes, advice and hilarity!

  32. Mike Famico (@Fameeks) October 22, 2012 at 5:49 pm #

    Sriracha. Packets.
    Packets of Sriracha. Little packets of love, wherever I go, with me, comforting me. Packets. Of. Sriracha. faljkd;fkadj;fjkadf;lakdkd!!!!!

  33. kalliope84 October 24, 2012 at 8:03 pm #

    I made these for my sister and I tonight and they were totally yummy and totally tasted like they had cheese! Even though I was getting impatient because Ijustreallywantedmydamnbreakfasttacofordinner, it paid off to wait!

  34. Rebecca October 26, 2012 at 12:06 pm #

    Goodness, your food blog is beautiful!

  35. Erin October 30, 2012 at 2:30 am #

    I cooked scrambled eggs like this yesterday and it was so delicious, thank you for all the helpful tips from cooking school! By the way, your #Sandy coverage from LA on Twitter is hilarious. One question: my boyfriend and i are going to NYC for a quick trip in December…I’m excited because the past few times I’ve traveled to New York it’s been satan’s buttcrack hot in the city so the blanket of snow will be a nice change of pace.

    Anyway, every time I go, we end up going to random restaurants we stumble upon and while they’re always fine (aka overhyped and overpriced), I would love some recommendations from a fellow foodie like you. Momofuku is already on the list! Any must-go’s you would suggest? Thanks from a fellow Seattlite :)

  36. Scarlet Rose (@scarls17) October 31, 2012 at 5:27 pm #

    I feel like I would need to have a breakfast before this breakfast because I would be too hungry to give the eggs the love they deserve.

  37. Stacey B. November 4, 2012 at 4:26 pm #

    thanks so much for posting this! My eggs will never be cooked in 15 seconds again. Seriously delish.

  38. Lauren D. November 5, 2012 at 9:17 am #

    Ugggh…so I got involved in your recent twitter “discussion” about politics towards the end of last week. I decided to come here to talk about it because I, like all of the other readers here, feel like you are actually somehow my real-life friend and because this is a cool little blog community that you’ve cooked up (Ha! a pun!) So here’s the deal – I can’t stop thinking about that twitter comment – it was over the Mitt Romney/canned goods thing. I was STILL thinking about it on Sunday morning. I said to myself “What is your problem? It was a TWITTER comment. A blip in time!” until I actually thought more about what was potentially bothering me. And I guess ultimately, what is bothering me, is some of the atrocious responses you get online. People who reply to you with such vitriol, and uneducated comments – and I didn’t want to be a part of that! I don’t want to be lumped together with people who think that your profession, or your appearance should dictate your voice. And then, I think what really upset me most is knowing that there are countries in which women would be killed for speaking their mind about a political issue. And here we are, skewering each other on Twitter for gods sake. And some of the worst offenders are other WOMEN! We are blatantly disregarding the liberties we have and instead using our voices to spew hate at each other, when we should be using those voices to speak up for those who can’t. So as ridiculous as it sounds, I guess I just needed to get that off my chest. Hooray for opinions and openness and well-spoken political discourse! Anything else can go to hell.

  39. fatskinnyfoodie November 7, 2012 at 5:22 pm #

    CAN YOU PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD OR BACON OR THE MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD OR WHATEVER UPDATE YOUR FOOD BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  40. Vikki November 9, 2012 at 9:42 pm #

    CHRISSY, WE MISS YOU ON HERE! in the meantime, http://www.tastespotting.com (food porn i call it) has been keeping me busy since i don’t have your FUN food, doggies, fiance, you know the deal, pictures to look at.. you’re awesome and hilarious! come back soon (=

  41. Karimah Boston November 11, 2012 at 1:33 pm #

    Love your blog. You had me at ‘girl who loves bacon.’

  42. Jenny November 13, 2012 at 2:15 am #

    Chrissy!!!!! Thanksgiving is almost here!! I need you!! I looked up your blog from last thanksgiving for some ideas. Are you cooking this year again?

  43. schiffty November 14, 2012 at 12:32 pm #

    I am remember eating those eggs from instructor Su..SO yummy :)

  44. Kellie November 25, 2012 at 4:17 pm #

    Love these. I used to make eggs like this in college when I’d visit my boyfriend. It was a Paula recipe though and she whisked in sour cream. I should probably, I don’t know, MAKE THEM FOR MYSELF… since I eat eggs every morning anyway. And I love me more than I love him. Haha. Thaaanks Chrissyyy.

  45. thedelicateplace November 27, 2012 at 11:27 am #

    hahaha yes. we do it with sour cream and it works the same way. i mean…how could you go wrong by adding a ton of fat to these eggs right? also, bacon. because bacon always makes everything better. x

  46. mairamixes November 28, 2012 at 9:41 am #

    I just made these for myself and my boyfriend, but I used curry powder and cumin in addition to the salt and pepper. They are beyond amazing! Next time I think I’ll use bacon fat instead of butter though.

    Oh, and I just realized the slow movements are ideal for making this when I’m hungover and can’t stand moving around too much. THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS WITH THE WORLD <3

  47. Nellie November 28, 2012 at 11:24 pm #

    I just found your blog and I looooooveeee it so much and I keep reading through the archives when I should be washing all of my food processor parts.

  48. Tabitha Tune December 19, 2012 at 6:56 pm #

    Gordon Ramsay’s scrambled egg technique is REALLY simple and they taste fantastic. Give that one a shot too!

  49. Beth December 23, 2012 at 10:19 pm #

    Made the eggs today. THEY ARE NO JOKE.

  50. Holly January 5, 2013 at 9:12 pm #

    I’ve eaten these every day this week for breakfast. holy crap.

  51. Elsa February 16, 2013 at 8:55 am #

    I made these eggs for the first time yesterday and had them again this morning – they are soo good, seriously the bomb when it comes to eggs.

  52. Camilla February 18, 2013 at 7:56 am #

    I tried out this way of making scrambled eggs yesterday. It definitely pleased me and my man! Thank you for the recipe!

    http://mychocolateaddiction.blogspot.dk/2013/02/bacon-and-even-more-slowly-scambled-eggs.html

  53. agate cameos pendant March 22, 2013 at 5:43 pm #

    I do not even know how I stopped up here, but I assumed this submit was once good. I do not understand who you are but definitely you’re going to a famous blogger if you happen to aren’t already. Cheers!%7

  54. Pizza Man August 9, 2013 at 8:13 pm #

    Umm looks good, can I have some? But where’s the pancakes or waffles?

  55. Curtis Jackson January 8, 2014 at 12:21 am #

    I adore bacon. But I encourage Chrissy’s dear readers to try an experiment: In 2 skillets, scramble 2-3 eggs in each, one using 1-2 tablespoons of butter, and the other using an equivalent amount of bacon grease. Make sure that is the only thing different between the two.

    If you are like me and almost everyone I know, the eggs scrambled in butter will taste better than the ones scrambled in bacon grease. It is counterintuitive, especially for us bacon lovers, but at least for me it is absolutely true.

  56. johns January 22, 2014 at 12:32 am #

    Just made these.. Holy shit!! Ive been in the dark for so long..

  57. nellapet April 17, 2014 at 11:29 am #

    Reblogged this on nellapet's Blog.

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