Can I just get the post-ball rolling again with something completely, ridiculously easy and delicious? Something I always buy and am constantly amazed by? Something I literally want to pour into everything, including my own baths?
Every single morning in cooking class, I would do the following things: Unload my knives. Switch my shoes to those hideous bastards I threw into the trash chute 2 weeks ago. Apologize for being late. Put my coat on. Make a double espresso. Hold this giant, unassuming, plastic tub of vanilla sugar to my nose and inhale deeply while the espresso machine chugged along. I would actually even corner people I caught using the tub of regular sugar and say, “why…why aren’t you using the vanilla sugar??” to which all they could say was, “well….I dunno actually”. Well I dunno why you’re so DUMB, I’d reply. Then we would engage in fisticuffs til one of us would pause, stare at the other, then we would break out in laughter. Because hey! It’s sugar.
Now, I hate coffee. I mean, the taste is fine, I guess. It’s never done anything for me but make me completely nauseous. It does nothing for my mood or my alertness. I guess I’m more of a meth type of gal. Anyhow, I was willing to use espresso shots merely as a container vessel in which to get this vanilla sugar into my body.
My instructor, Su, quickly noticed my intense love for something so simple. So now, I pass to you. Something I am hesitant to even share as ummmmmm it’s just so fucking embarrassingly easy and I can’t believe I haven’t done it before:
Take a couple…3? 4? who cares, vanilla beans. Split them right down the middle allllll the way down using the tip of a really sharp paring knife.
Use the knife to scrape all the little seeds out of the bean. They look like teeny tiny sweet little vanilla caviar pearls.
Pour enough sugar to kill you in a food processor. Any sugar you like. Add all your little vanilla caviar pears. Blend.
Put into a resealable container with all the scraped beans. Flavor country! SMELLLLL IT.
Obviously such a cute gift when poured into a mason jar with a little tag too. For the baker or coffee drinker in your life. They will love.
PS I love shit in jars. You could literally shit in a jar and I’d still laugh and enjoy it. But mostly I love any other shit in a jar. Layered cheesecakes, baking mixes, etc. Jars of stuff for gifts are awesome. And you can use the jar. What I’m saying here is my birthday is coming up.
More posts coming up! xx