Beef Curtains

28 Jun

…One time, long, long ago, a male friend of mine referred to a date’s…er…hoo-ha….as “beef curtains”. This has forever been engraved into my mind, and I STILL cannot write or say the word “beef” without thinking of it. And seriously, I haven’t seen many girl’s hoo-ha’s, but I’m pretty sure it shouldn’t look like BEEFY CURTAINS.

Which is my disgusting segue into talking about one of my favorite meals I have ever cooked, last night’s korean beef Kalbi with stir-fried wok veggies and scallops:

Ok so I’m not the prettiest plater….I actually am on an extensive wait-list for a “basic knife skills” and “meal presentation” class here in nyc, but trust me when I say I have never really made anything as tasty and simple as this sweet and garlicy beef.

Beef Kalbi:

Ingredients

  • 5 pounds Korean style beef short ribs
  • 1 cup brown sugar, packed
  • 1 cup soy sauce
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1/4 cup mirin (asian markets all have this, sometimes even “ethnic” grocery store aisles, google for photo of bottle)
  • 1 small onion, peeled and finely grated
  • 1 small asian pear, peeled and finely grated (**I didn’t have a pear but oh well)
  • 4 tablespoons minced garlic (I used 8 or 9 garlic cloves in mine because I’m a garlic freak)
  • 2 tablespoons dark sesame oil
  • 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
  • 2 green onions, thinly sliced (optional)

I had 8 thin slices of flanken (this slice of beef is usually called this in asian markets and grocery stores), which is certainly not 5 pounds of beef. I had way too much marinade but trust me, make it all…it’s just more juice for the beef to absorb, thus making it mind-blowingly tasty.

You probably won’t need the entire cup, but use the brown sugar to evenly coat the flanken. Seriously. Rub the brown sugar all over it like you are feeling up some hot body. Get in there:

Let this sit for 10 or 15 minutes while you make the marinade, which is literally just mixing all the remaining ingredients together. You can put the green onion in the marinade if you wish, but it’s prettier to garnish with it…although I forgot to in the end.

After 15 minutes, your beef should be a nice, deep red from absorbing the brown sugar (that’s what she said). By the way, I used regular golden brown sugar for this but let me know if you use dark…wondering if that’s delicious as well. Anyhoo, moving on…

I recommend you now put the beef into a big ziplock freezer bag and poor the marinade in. I didn’t do it because I wanted to take pretty photos and ziplocks create a disgusting, sticky mess. At least when I use em. I poured it over, covered it, and let it sit in the fridge for an almost 2 hours…

If you don’t have that kind of time, really, 1.5 hours or so is pretty amazing. I’m sure overnight would just be skeet-worthy.

Do do do, la la laaaaa, a few hours pass, take it out and GRILL THAT SHIT! I was too lazy to go down and use the bbq, so I used a pancake griddle. Don’t judge me!

Ugh. Posting this makes me sad I didn’t really buy 5 pounds of beef to munch on throughout my day. This was that good. Put a tablespoon or so of olive oil on the pan to evenly coat, then let it get nice and hot on medium high heat….closer to high.

Toss the strips on (careful of your fingers in the oil! it should crackle) and watch closely. It should only take 2 minutes each side, and it’s much better to take it off too early than it is to leave it on too long. Make sure it’s hot enough to get it nice and dark brown (i like almost a black, crusty deliciousness of brownsugaryness) and take it off when it’s to your liking. I know I say that a lot, but I love recipes where it really only relies on how you want it to taste, recipes where you really can’t fail.

You know what? Screw the scallops. They were ok but the kalbi is the real star here. If you must, do as I did and stir-fry some broccoli, sliced shiitake mushrooms and onion by pouring a few tablespoons of olive-oil into a wok (my fav) or sauté pan. Toss some minced garlic in (a few cloves) and let it crackle. Toss the veggies in, squirt some soy sauce in to taste and just keep stirring and tossing until it’s to your liking. Super easy.

Now hurry along, everyone. Start marinating this thing! You can have a delicious dinner by 8pm tonight : )

38 Responses to “Beef Curtains”

  1. Amy K. June 28, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

    arrrrrrghghghhgh why why why do you get to write about food and eat food and cook food and still be model-thin? i think i gain ten pounds just reading your tweets.

  2. merlin June 28, 2011 at 3:54 pm #

    i am disgusted and hungry at the same time. thank you.

    • merlin June 28, 2011 at 3:56 pm #

      also please post some crab-cake recipes (could probably also you a juicy STD segue for that)

    • chrissyteigen June 28, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

      hahahaha! love it.

  3. Becky C June 28, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

    I am gonna try this one. Look sodelushious (hardy har har)

  4. maribel c. June 28, 2011 at 4:05 pm #

    Easy and delicious? Winner in my book! I’m definitely trying this and when I do I’ll come back and tell you how my little family liked it.

    BTW, you are my favorite twitter-er and now blogger.

  5. Alecia June 28, 2011 at 4:07 pm #

    I can’t wait to try it. It looks healthy and tasty and relatively easy…all adjectives that can motivate me to cook.

    Love your new blog and like the previous commenter, you are one of my faves on twitter.

  6. seri June 28, 2011 at 4:10 pm #

    Looks amazing :-) I became obsessed with Asian food since my trip around S.E. Asia last year, really opened my mind to new things, I’ll have to try this one!
    Keep the tweets and recipes coming, as someone who detests political correctness and mundane celebs, they crack me up!
    BTW… the phrase “beef curtains”….urgh!!

  7. chrissyteigen June 28, 2011 at 4:10 pm #

    Everyone is so nice here. Can we all live here together and desert the outside world?

    • merlin June 28, 2011 at 4:12 pm #

      only if you post a crab-cake recipe. otherwise, i’m going back to food network for the humor and comedy central for the food.

      • merlin June 28, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

        this is my last post i promise ‘m not stalking just thought you’d appreciate this – my firefox tab for this page reads:
        “Beef Curtains<<So Delushious"

  8. Ryan June 28, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

    Chrissy: This blog is amazing. Do you like BBQ? And if so, may I ask, any good recipes for a 4th of July party?

    Also, I moved to CA from the East Village 8 months ago and I’m in need of some nostalgia. So, I’m thinking, you need to do a piece on the Pak Punjab Deli on East 3rd, because I’m pretty sure that place has good food. Or maybe the food is terrible, I don’t remember, but I do remember that every D-bag on Bowery stops through, so at the very least they have good stories.

    Lastly, keep on tweeting. It’s well. It’s amazing. Seriously. Specifically keep tweeting the edgy stuff that those people living in their mother’s basements love to freak out about. At the very least, it gives me an answer to my favorite question: “Do these lunatics actually exist?”. Yes. Yes they do.

    • chrissyteigen June 28, 2011 at 4:20 pm #

      lol, thank you!

      i actually live right by that corner store, and I used to live right on the same block. they have amazing beef samosa’s but I’ve never had anything more. I used to get a few for lunch and pour sriracha on em. You make me wanna try a meal now!

      I will definitely do a 4th of july special of all my planned recipes, as we are having a BBQ.

      Your pak punjab story will be done :) as SOON as I can eat rice again. God I hate this.

      • Ryan June 28, 2011 at 4:37 pm #

        Haha. That’s amazing. Man I miss that area.

        And I’m looking forward to both stories! Seriously… impressive work on here. Keep it up.

  9. Grace A. Faye June 28, 2011 at 4:30 pm #

    Bitch u crack me up! I love this recipe and I love you!

  10. Melissa June 28, 2011 at 4:32 pm #

    Thank you for the dinner idea. Can’t wait to try it!

    However, I’m now strangely obsessed/disturbed over how a hoo-ha can be named beef curtains. Uhh..

  11. TheoJW June 28, 2011 at 5:05 pm #

    You should think about adding a type of wine/alcoholic drink that would go along with your recipe write-ups. Good stuff.

  12. Sedalle June 28, 2011 at 6:17 pm #

    I like how you segue from “beef curtains” to “not the prettiest plater.” Don’t sell yourself short.

    For the record, there’s nothing wrong if a woman has a wizard’s sleeve.

    This concludes your crude vocabulary lesson for the day.

  13. Gina June 28, 2011 at 6:43 pm #

    Ugh, I have such a lady boner to try this…well, I got it after the curtain talk. I am trying a lower carb thing myself and I CANNOT DO IT. I literally just made egg whites for dinner and then ate a piece of bread because I was mind-fucking myself. But this recipe looks too good to cheat on. Fingers crossed. Can’t wait to read more.

  14. Brian McCallie June 28, 2011 at 8:02 pm #

    Seriously…I read the “Beef Curtains” title & instantly knew where this one was going. Funny stuff Chrissy – thanks for the good laugh! I look fwd to future crazy-ass, funny posts – and some kick-butt recipes! All hail bacon!

  15. Rachael June 28, 2011 at 11:11 pm #

    Do you have any suggestions for people who can’t have sugar? Any substitutions?

  16. DetroitDrew June 29, 2011 at 8:57 am #

    Chrissy, your beef curtains look delicious! My Korean friends make these all the time and I can never get enough. Beef Curtains on the bone, best thing ever. Can I say that?

  17. Carrie-Anne June 29, 2011 at 9:21 am #

    Hahah I love that your recipe says 4 garlic cloves but you used double that. I do the same thing. If I suddenly became allergic to garlic I don’t think life would be worth living anymore :)

  18. Butters Stotch June 29, 2011 at 11:41 am #

    Awesome! You should check out Maangchi’s (google it) recipe for galbi – hers is really really good too and pretty easy. Maybe better than my Mom’s (yikes). If you wrap the meat in green leaf lettuce with some scallions and ssamjang paste, you won’t miss rice at all. And I love how you eat all the meat to the bone – you make Koreans proud.

  19. DimplesJamie July 2, 2011 at 1:28 pm #

    I made this last (without the asian pear)….what a winner! Soooo yummy! Thanks for sharing the recipe!

  20. Nonijacqueline July 8, 2011 at 10:46 am #

    Chrissy I tried this recipe but it turned out really salty! Was I supposed to use sweet soya sauce? Cause I did it with salty soya sauce.

  21. cevon July 21, 2011 at 1:48 am #

    I never thought of it that way, well put!

  22. scarlet August 13, 2011 at 11:35 pm #

    I’m so bad about knowing when meat is done…thatswhatshesaid?

  23. Cyndi August 21, 2011 at 6:29 pm #

    Holy shit. Mirin sauce must be black market stuff because none of our local grocery stores carry it!!!! Guess this won’t be dinner tonight after all and the beautiful short ribs will have to wait naked in the fridge till I can find an Asian market in Austin that carries this shit. DAMNIT! I REALLY WANTED TO EAT THIS TONIGHT!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

    • kim March 26, 2012 at 6:51 am #

      this is really late but I found the Mirin at the HEB at Parmer & 35

  24. Ina June 26, 2012 at 3:18 pm #

    You can always substitute Asian pears with Coke! It tenderizes the meat. I came across your blog (thanks to US Weekly) and am loving it!

  25. Racheal Khong March 26, 2013 at 11:55 pm #

    Holy. Amazing. Deliciousness.

    I pinned this a while back and finally made it last night.

    Let me just say, any recipe that starts with rub 1 cup of sugar over your meat sounds like a WIN!

    I ended up making two versions (pork and beef)…I pressure cooked the pork ribs in the marinade to soften it (it was for grandma who doesn’t eat beef and needed it softer) and followed the recipe for the beef. Also, I totally did not grate my pear or onions or garlic. I didn’t even really measure it, just threw a bunch into the mini chopper and let it do the work.

    Fuck.

    Yes.

    This.

    Shit.

    Was.

    Good.

    Just to give you an idea, I fed a household of people that ranged from 23-75 and everyone was happy.

    You know that booyah! feeling you get when you cook something for the people you love and smile so big when the table is quiet because everyone is enjoying it. That.

    Thank you!

  26. chicomallorca March 13, 2014 at 6:07 pm #

    Reblogged this on Chicomallorca's Blog.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. new grill! « So Delushious ! - August 12, 2011

    [...] You can find the recipe from one of my earlier posts here: http://sodelushious.com/2011/06/28/beef-curtains/ [...]

  2. Test Kitchen! « blytheskitchen - October 24, 2011

    [...] been jonesin’ for beef kalbi for a while, and stumbled on this beauty via Chrissy Teigen: http://sodelushious.com/2011/06/28/beef-curtains/ and just last week, PBS posted their recipe archive on Facebook and I immediately found and fell [...]

  3. Brown Sugar Short Ribs « - November 14, 2011

    [...] good together. I’m really glad I made this, and I intend to make it more often. Adapted from http://sodelushious.com/2011/06/28/beef-curtains/ Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. Filed under: [...]

  4. Beef curtins | Worldwidepush - September 5, 2012

    [...] Beef Curtains « So Delushious !Jun 28, 2011 … One time, long, long ago, a male friend of mine referred to a date’s…er…hoo-ha ….as “beef curtains”. This has forever been engraved into my … [...]

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